Even though I know I got off easy with the case of shingles I had, and, even the after effects are not all that bad, I sure didn’t need the upsetting past three days I’ve had. Last evening I received an email from my oldest son suggesting something I had already decided to do: keep on with Meander With Me, even if it isn’t an every day post, but keep it light, interesting, and—these are my words—fun to read. Well, before I do that, I have to get over a past, three day’s upset. I’ve used astericks in place of names, but here is a copy of a letter now sitting in my mailbox for pickup later on in the day. I believe it is self-explanatory. I’m worndering, how would “you” handle this situation if face with it?
My One Time, Good Friend, ****, October 19, 2009
I will make this short and simple. If you and ******* did not intend to mend a broken friendship, just why did the two or you stop by? As much as I was truly delighted to see the two of you and genuinely happy to think we could, once again, be the friends we once were, I am sitting here at my computer vainly trying to compose myself. What I sincerely hoped was a gesture of friendship, turned out be just another attempt by ******* to once again, get me to produce a book that, if I ever had it in my possession, had been returned to your home.
When it comes to a book on the life of Kathryn Hepburn, I would not have had the slightest interest in its content. I’ve never been interested in reading biographies of movie stars, and never will. I do remember coming to your house one evening and being told to put whatever it was I had borrowed with other articles lying on a stool, or some other piece of furniture several steps into the room and to the left of the doorway. For all I remember, I may have taken the book home and returned it unread. The accusation of having borrowed a book and failing to return it, will trouble me for as long as I live. Had I borrowed the book and not returned it, it would still be sitting on the kitchen table. Never, not once in my entire life has anybody—until now—accused me of failing to return something I borrowed.
It saddens me to write this: it has become quite clear to me that *******—if not both of you—will continue to believe I borrowed a treasured book with irreplaceable clippings in it and did not return them. I am now convinced that I will be forever harassed on the subject. I don’t need the aggravation. ******* has succeeded in convincing me that it is best that I sever—without any malice whatsoever on my part—any and all possible future friendship between you, ******* and me. I am willing to talk the matter over at any time—with you and you only.
I once suggested a slight change in one of her poems and she took offense. I learned early on to back off.
I think it best for my state of mind if I “back off” permanently.
Those types of things are upsetting and wounding. I have fallen out with a couple of friends in the past over their insistence that I have done something I didn’t do. It’s such a shame.
However, the good news of the day, the GREAT NEWS, is that you are going to continue with your blog. I am so pleased. YAY!
Sema, I think your comment was just what I needed. Now, I’m off to join the Morninside Writers. Thanks a millionT
The happiness of this life depends less on what befalls you than the way in which you take it. ~ Elbert Hubbard
He also said, “Life is just one damn thing after another.”
I agree with your son for you to keep on writing. Smart boy who probably takes after his mother.
Ah, friendship. I am having similar struggles as we are all stretched in very different positions than we have been before. It’s testing the bonds we have and in one or two cases, I think they will break slowly over time and then be forgotten. Keep writing, though. I’ve barely kept my non food blog alive over the past months, but I still venture there when it helps me mull over certain aspects of my life.
Hi Mary – I simply cannot believe the fact that you and I BOTH had a shingles outbreak at the same time! Ugh! I feel for you – mine has lasted well over 3 weeks now and I’m still not completely healed nor has my youthful exuberance (?) fully returned. Dang – those things hurt like the dickens. I’m so glad you will continue to grace us with your stories – and never feel you have to post all the time; we all need some rest these days. Hugs and blessings from your shinglemate, Linda
It’s about time I got back to Meander With Me. Thanks for the visit elecpencil and for your’s, too, kellypea and Crone….. . While I realize that not all friendships endure, I never seem to be hurt when I know I have not been at fault. I console myself with the knowledge that it is not my loss, but that of the offending party.
Croneandbearit, I hope you did as I did and got yourself to a doctor the moment you knew you were heading for a shingles attack. I did and was on meds by noon, which no doubt shortened the initial attack, but it’s the-after effectd that does the long and lasting damage to the nervous system. I was ready to try anything. I found a can of spray that I had seldom used for aching muscles … Linimist. Careful to protect my eyes, I sprayed the area above and around my right eye, my forehead and well up and over my scalp. Almost instant relief that lasted for hours. I now use it but twice a day. Good luck and let me know how you’re doing.
Hi Mary – Unfortunately it took me awhile to get to the doctor as I thought that nasty blistering rash was just a reaction to some antibiotics I had taken. So by the time I saw him I was in a bad way. He put me on antiviral meds and I’m much better. But it has been almost a month now and my body still aches in places it shouldn’t and I don’t have my energy back yet. I tire very easily. I thought I was too young for shingles – and if I’d had any idea that’s what it was I would have sought treatment faster. I had three separate sites and my doctor said he had never seen that happen on anyone (leave it to me!). The main rash has left a nasty scar that looks like a left-over burn and I’m hoping it fades. For now I just put up with it and hope for the day I feel like myself again. Hugs! Linda