Some four years ago I wote what I believed to be a pretty darn good short story. A short time ago I decided to use it . . . in two or three chapters, for posting on my blogsite. I was reading, with some satisfaction, what I thought to be a “wow” of a surprise ending when—bam, it hit me. Now, I have to completely rewrite the entire tale. My purpose in using this much of it? To ram home the importance of having all work thoroughly searched for flaws before publishing. Once published, your mistakes will live with you. Of course, I guess that can be said for just plain living. Here is what I discovered just in time:
This story has a serious flaw. Unless Bill is a complete idiot, he would not purchase a pendent for his next-door neighbor—with whom he is having an affair—if he thought there was so much as a slight chance his wife could have seen his choice of gift, first.
OPALESCENT TIME
Mary A. Gallagher Kaufman
Other than the different colors chosen for trimming and shutters, the beautiful Ranch homes situated in the Maple Leaf cul de sac, were like clones to one another. A young, newly married couple, Bill Mason, computer-programmer for a rapidly expanding consulting company and Effie, portrait photographer, moved into Pearl-Gray between Slate-Green and Alice-Blue to begin, what promised to be, long years of happy suburban living.
Five years later, Alice-Blue’s residents moved from the area. Pleasant enough neighbors, Effie thought, but a bit too ‘uppity’ to her liking. She was not sorry to see them go. Within two weeks, a white Cadillac pulled to a stop before the front of the house. A few moments later, a large moving van pulled around the cadillac and into the driveway. Effie watched from behind a living room drape as the woman with hair the color of buckwheat honey and coiled in a thick braid about her head, surveyed her surroundings for a moment, then signalled the driver to begin unloading the contents of the van. She moved with the grace of a puma toward the house, up the front steps, inserted a key into the lock and entered the front door. Alice-Blue had a new resident and quite an attractive one.
And that, folks, is where I leave you hanging. Sorry about that.
ok mary… come on now… i have been very patient… tell me more!!!!!
paisley, I really am going to rewrite the story. I have to smile at myself for thinking I had written a perfect story only to be be brought up short as I was preparing it for my blogsite. And it had such a perfect happy ending! What is the saying? ‘In a pig’s eye’.
I’m hooked, too!